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Friday, September 11, 2009

MG (Massive Greed)

The despicable greed of the former bosses of MG Rover is exposed today. As the company's finances went down the toilet, five executives pocketed £42m in pay and pensions.

The collapse of MG saw about 6,500 people lose their jobs: real people with bills to pay and families to support. Now, is it just me, or would it not be a suitable punishment for these grotesquely-obese-cats (fat-cats is an inadequate expression) to narrow down that 6,500 to the nastiest dozen or so, equip them with an assortment of medieval torture apparatus and lock them in a room with the guilty executives? You never know, the workers may choose to be forgiving. I rather doubt it though.

The independent probe that's exposed this naked greed has taken more than four years to complete and has cost the taxpayer about £16m. So we've been screwed as well. This rankles a little with me, I have to admit, given that I can barely change a wheel, never mind build an frikkin' MG.

Avarice is all the rage. Just ask Fred the Shred, or any MP. It's easy to shake your head and think it sucks but dismiss it as something that doesn't really affect you. But the increasingly rapacious culture we live in affects all of us. If you don't believe me, consider pensions. As Kevin Maguire explains, rich bastards are getting financial help they don't need to become even richer bastards in retirement.

At one end of society we have kids being dragged up on hideous estates in poverty akin to the times of Charles Dickens. And at the other we have people who think they deserve to be multi-millionaires despite being abject failures, and who don't care if they have to take money away from people who are living in relative penury to boost their own bloated bank accounts.

Back in the (good old) olden days, revolution would have been in the air. But because people aren't actually starving here in Blighty, there's sadly no risk of a popular uprising. Instead of fighting back, the plebs will silently obey their exploitative masters before returning to their shabby homes and fixing their dismal, apathetic gazes on their tellies. As the tepid crap that passes for modern entertainment washes over them, they'll dull their senses further with cheap supermarket booze, all the while waiting for the bliss of death to end the monotony of it all. What a ****ing shower.

Sooner or later though, something surely has to give. The Tories are going to win power next year (unless a miracle takes place) and if you think noses are in the trough now, you ain't seen nothing yet.

I have a good life and a relatively well-paid job but I boil with rage when I hear of the amoral banditry being perpetrated across the top tiers of business and government. It's a disgrace. But what's more shameful is our lack of action to put a stop to it.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Talking rubbish

Christ! What is it with middle England and its obsession with frikkin' bin collections? I mean, for f***'s sake! I despair. I genuinely despair. Their favourite storm in a tea cup used to be about how often their bins were collected; now it's how big their bins are! Arrrrghhh!!!

If most of the world's scientists are to be believed, we're heading towards an environmental apocalypse. We need to consume much less and recycle much more. We need to limit the impact - or 'footprint' - we leave on this once green and pleasant planet. It means making a few sacrifices. Changing our way of life. Not shitting on our own doorsteps, so to speak.

But all some people seem to care about is whether of not they can continue to fill their goddamn wheelie bins at the frightening rate they currently do. They don't give a flying piss whether the world is consumed by the by-products of their relentless materialism and gluttony. I wish I had the world's biggest steel toe-capped boot with which to kick their flabby, complacent, porcine backsides into orbit. (Second thoughts, such a gargantuan orbiting arse might block out the sun and destroy the Earth, thus rendering my punishment counter-productive.)

Listen up up bin-loving chumps: if you care about your children and grandchildren, you have to change! Now! Recycling isn't rocket science. You won't need to have a large bin, or regular collections, if you lift one of your bone-idle fingers and get involved.

If I was in charge (which fortunately I'm not, because I am genuinely unhinged), I would punish everyone who didn't recycle by having the contents of their wheelie bin tipped onto them from a great height - and then the bin too, with a Austin Metro nailed to it.

The small-minded terror these people feel when any sort of change is suggested -- however beneficial it may be to society, the country, the planet -- is remarkable. It would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that this constituency of cretins seems to hold the balance of power in the UK.

The Government should take the bins off these wretches for a few weeks and make them live in the mountains of crap they produce for a while. That would learn 'em. They'd be begging for their brown bins back then, and weeping with joy if a black one was returned, even if it was the size of a snail's sandwich box.

Even if global warming is a myth (which it isn't), why do some people think it's okay to create masses of waste that just gets buried in the ground to remain for centuries to come? What sort of a philosophy is that? A rubbish one, that's what! (See what I did there? Great payoff.)